A Day for Remembering

Dear Chris,

Days like today are good for remembering.  Remembering and giving thanks.  Because I am always very thankful for you, my firstborn son.  You were born with a sense of responsibility which is evident in this photo. 

•  Remember the pre-dawn in Grand Rapids when Dad took off for the airport to fly home?  The weight of commitment you felt on your twelve year old shoulders to keep us together as we drove two thousand miles home was almost too much.  I drove the car, but you navigated, took charge of your little brother, and encouraged me.

•  I remember walking with you to school the first day of first grade.  Your hair was slicked back, your face fresh, you looked preppy in the red and white striped knit shirt with a collar.   I cried all the way home, wanting one more moment of the way things used to be.  You and your brother cried  yourselves to sleep after we told you we planned to homeschool  six years later. 

•  I will never forget the afternoon you busted into the house after school with your long stride, jumped up for your ritual flick of the ceiling fan, and landed your size 13 feet  1/4 inch away from your baby brother’s face.  God was merciful to our family that day.  Your tender heart was broken at the possibility that you could have hurt/killed him.  Remember our wailing brought Dad running wet and naked down the stairs to see what was wrong!!

•  I am embarrassed to remember my pride in you as a baseball player.  Ugh!  I was an over-the-top mom and you were much more balanced about your abilities.  You took me aside after one game and said, “Mom, you were yelling ‘Strike him out Chris!  You’ve done it before, you can do it again!’ Mom, the batter and I both knew that I had never struck him out and your yelling gave him the mental advantage.”   But I have fond memories of watching you pitch and catch, of our car time driving to and from games, running situations, reviewing plays and just talking.  You taught me to love the game of baseball.

•  Your love of being on time often clashed with my perceived need to get everything done before we left.  This was a weekly seesaw we played getting to church.  But it was especially a dispute before long trips when I stayed up through the previous night working on my desk and was just starting to pack when you were ready to get into the car.  While I haven’t changed, I am theoretically on your side.  Keep it up.

•  Your father taught me to respect you in your growing manhood.  Another blushing memory!  I had the screamin’ meemies about your treatment of a warmup jacket.  Without saying a word to me, your Dad turned and looked you in the eye.  “Chris, you are 15 and we aren’t going to do much reminding anymore.  You can treat your possessions the way you want to and live with the consequences.  We won’t nag you; you are old enough to take care of yourself.”   And you were.

•  I remember when we two read through the Ralph Moody books simultaneously.  When I got a chance to read, I’d have to hunt out your hiding place and snatch the book.  When I finished I squirreled it in my own hiding spot and you’d have to search for it.

•  Last one:  I remember the car-crazy boy you and your brother were.  I was desperate to drum into you the fact that cars depreciate and houses appreciate.  When you were seventeen I sat you down and penciled out how you could use sweat equity to make money tax free.  You were so receptive and wanted to start right in.  You bought your starter home at 19 and have been making it wonderful for seven years.  I admire the way you learn new skills with each new home project. 

Happy 26th Birthday.  You are my Psalm 1 man.  I see God’s blessings in your life and rejoice.

Mom


Chris reading a birthday card

The Diminished Art of Letter Writing

Technology always offers trade-offs.  It is wondrous, still awesomely amazing that we can hear daily from loved ones on the other side of the globe.  Long-distance grand-parenting is palatable with a telephone and an online connection.  Mamas of soldiers are relieved each time the inbox holds a letter from their child. 

But!

We miss the archives, those bundles of letters wrapped in a ribbon, letters which have been read and re-read,  kissed and kept.  I have a dozen books of collections of letters on my shelf.  More precious yet, thanks to my brother Jim (the doctor, artist, travel expert, gentleman farmer, and the dear one who taught me how to tie my shoelaces-Happy Birthday, btw) who made copies of every letter, I have the correspondence of my mom to my dad during the three years they were separated by work circumstances. 

Now that I have just signed up for the 100-Species-Challenge, after I have been re-juiced about Fine Art Friday, am gaining some regularity in walking, in addition to adding a 40 hour work schedule for the next two weeks, and remembering my vow to finish my ironing pile, a most wonderful blogging idea has struck me brain:

Re-read my mom’s letters and quote excerpts on the blog.

I will fall in love all over again with the most marvelous woman I ever knew.

A mother of seven, functioning as a single mom, scraping the bottom of the barrel with a laugh on her lips, while her husband teaches at a college two hours away.  Some stuff simply amazes me:  I believe they owned about five junker cars with never more than two working at one time.  The letters report which car my dad would need to repair on his next trip home.  She was articulate and full of grace, and the anecdotes about the kids’ shenanigans are always related with wry humor.

Will it translate to today?  Will her words build up?  Will it make me cry?  Will it inspire me–to trust God more, to work harder, to laugh louder?  Will it be a gift to my grandchildren?  Will it make me thankful?

A thousand times yes…

 

 

The Moment That Changed Our Marriage

At twenty, I was a young bride.  Granted, early loss and later family friction forced me to grow up in certain ways.  I had been financially independent for three years.  Nevertheless, one of the tacit agreements in our relationship was that my first-born husband would take care of me and I, the youngest in my family, would be taken care of.  Curt was only nine months older than me, but I was younger in many, many ways.  Thus ends the setting of my story.

One Sunday morning [isn’t it always Sunday morning?], three months into our marriage, we had an argument.  Who knows the whys or the wherefores.  We disagreed on some decision, and I was adamant in wanting my own way.  As our little white Toyota pickup drove down Olehanson Road I burst into tears.  Not tears of grief, but tears of thwarted desire.   By the time we turned onto Old Highway 101, Curt had relented, capitulated, backed-off, reversed.

I had hardly finished wiping my face and blowing my nose when I took a few slow, deep breaths. An incipient smile began shaping itself on my face.  Something between a giggle and a chuckle came out of my mouth. What made me say the next words?  Where was the governor of my mouth that moment? 

“I can make you do anything I want.”

The words hung, suspended in the cab of the truck, for an eternity.  We were both shocked. 

It was a silent, sober and subdued young couple that arrived at church that morning.

I didn’t see myself as a manipulative wench.  I thought I was a loving wife.  But the words said something entirely different.  Curt didn’t recognize the pattern that had been developing until it smacked him in his eardrums.  

It was God’s mercy, Kyrie Eleison, that turned the filter off, and let those words tumble out the instant they came into my head.  From that moment, we both knew that things would be different.  I apologized, crying tears of grief this time–grief at my selfish pigheadedness. 

In the thirty years of our marriage, we have probably had half a dozen decisions where we strongly disagreed.  We have hashed out our arguments, talked through the issues, supported our positions.  But we have always agreed that the last word was Curt’s, that he, as my husband, was the head.  Several key decisions in our marriage that were initially very painful for me have turned out to be “hallelujahs” in my life, occasions to be thankful for the wisdom of a godly husband.  He didn’t turn out to be a tyrant.  But, thank God, he is not a pansy.

Happy Anniversary, Babe.  You are The Best!
     


Infant Voices


The day we arrived home from our trip to Scotland and England we got a phone call.  Carson and Taryn are expecting their first baby!

The next day, before we sat down to eat dinner with Chris and Jessie, they told us that they were expecting another child.  Big brother Gavin, my favorite three year old, is overjoyed.

Two new hearts are beating!  One is due December 25th and one is due December 26th! 

Blessings are abounding.  Prayers are being answered.  Really answered.  In real time. 

This great news energizes me to continue praying, to keep asking.  You know who you are…I’m praying for you, too!

 (from Jesus Shall Reign, a favorite hymn).

People and realms of every tongue
dwell on his love with sweetest song;
and infant voices shall proclaim
their early blessings on his name
.

Two Good Things

A day of delighting in Gavin:
planting, laughing, reading, feeding.

I’ve been hoarding Anthony Trollope and Wendell Berry
 for special reading treats.
They are my secret stash of Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream.

I’ve been waiting for Hannah Coulter to become available to me at .
I checked it out from our library, but took it back unread, because reading
it without being able to interact by marking it up wouldn’t be a pleasure.

Then I read my friend‘s blog.
The time for holding back had past.
I used a B & N gift card and ordered  the book.
(ordering a new book is still a thrill!)

Now, this is a small thing.
But, when I ordered it, I expected it to look like this.
And it came, looking like this:

I adore, I exult, I am gladdened by matching sets of books.
They make me very happy.
Isn’t this stack just one of the purtiest things you’ve seen?

If you are new to Wendell Berry, I suggest you start at That Distant Land,
a collection of Berry’s “Port William” short stories.
It is one of my favorite books to give away.

Like a newly engaged girl, I am, ahem,  practicing restraint.
I want to read it all in one large gulp.
Instead, I’m reading one chapter at a time.
Soaking.
Enjoying.
Playing footsie.

Life, my friend, is good.

The Old European

Carson and Taryn took us to their favorite breakfast place in Pullman, The Old European. Even if you don’t normally follow links, you’ll want to click on that one.  Trust me.  You can’t gain weight from looking.  Go to menu and click on the pictures.  Do it.

What a delight.  Fresh squeezed orange juice, food that melts in your mouth — this would be the perfect place for a birthday breakfast. 


Danish Aebelskivers with Blackberry Brandy sauce

I scooped up the mission statement on the front of the menu:

We believe dining out should be a wonderful experience, not just a place to eat. (Amen!)  With the economic trends of today, most breakfast and lunch restaurants have to accommodate a fast pace society by being quick, efficient, and inexpensive.

In doing so, the art of home cooking gets lost, because quality requires time and raw ingredients. Few establishments take the risk of scratch batters, fearing the risk of inconsistency and the demand of constant training. Even fewer are set up to create products which are different and difficult to produce.

As our name connotes, our menu features many “Old European” recipes. Recipes that not only take time, but also the raw ingredients make our food noticeably better (hear, hear!).

Our welcome to you is “Guest in the house, God in the house” ~ a Polish attitude.

They are singing my anthem: slow food, fresh ingredients, hospitality.  Oh my, oh my.

The amazing thing is that this restaurant probably served 1,000 breakfasts on graduation morning.  The wait staff was exceedingly cheerful, helpful and efficient.  If you are ever in Pullman, Spokane, or Post Falls, plan on The Old European.

Commencement

Hurrah!  Carson graduated with a degree in
Management Information Systems in
the School of Business.

We had a weekend together celebrating Carson’s completion.
Taryn put on a scrumptious feast for 15 – her first fancy family dinner.


The happiest of all are these two!
Carson starts working for Boeing in a few weeks.

Turn the Corner Thursday

My husband woke up feeling better today.  He’s wiped-out exhausted, but he said he feels more tired than sick.  Thank you for your prayers. 

Bless the Lord, O my soul:
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits:

Who forgiveth all thine iniquities;
who healeth all thy diseases;

~ Psalm 103