A Reduction of Tears

 
Nellie Stover Harper, March 23, 1920 – May 7, 1968

Sorrow has no shelf life.

There is, however, a difference between the jagged edges of fresh grief and the patina of an old grief worn smooth like a faded flannel shirt. The splash of hot tears and spasms of sobs wind down, and eventually become sighs and wistful smiles.

A reduction, in cooking terminology, uses heat and evaporation to get the essential flavors, the best bits, into a thicker base.

Grief–the healthy kind–can make a reduction of our tears, concentrating those salty drops into a savory flavoring.  Cardamom, by itself, is sharp and bitter, pungent and overwhelming. Reduced with cinnamon, cloves, ginger and black tea, it becomes a vital ingredient in chai.
  
Revelation (last book of the Bible) promises a day when God will wipe away all the tears and Psalm 56 speaks of God storing tears in a bottle.  

I know that God sees our tears.  And if he knows the hairs on our head, surely He knows every tear that falls. 
 
I know that God–the One who Redeems–transforms our sorrows, giving us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning. 

I imagine that the oil of joy is a reduction of our tears, redeeming our sorrows and transforming them into praise. He gave the tears; one day we will offer them back to Him.

Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.

~

More thoughts on grief.

Some letters my mom wrote.

German Boy

I had already read stacks of Holocaust memoirs and was suffering “misery fatigue” when I bought German Boy. What compelled me to buy and read this book? Simply because it is written from the point of view of a German boy; other than Hitler’s Mein Kampf and All Quiet on the Western Front, I had not read a German narrative. Apparently, misery does not recognize boundaries. Once again I am astonished at the suffering a human being can survive.

Wolfgang Samuel’s story covers the time between his tenth birthday, January 1945, in Eastern Germany to January 1951 when Samuel, his mother and her new American husband leave Germany for America.  As the narrative begins, Wolfgang, his sister Ingrid and their Mutti  (German for “mom”) leave in the middle of the night to flee Russian troops entering their city. This is the first of many three-suitcase trips. The family of three lives with Mutti’s parents until they again travel west.  The formal end of hostilities did not bring an end of deprivation, an end of hunger, or an end of violence.  

An uncomfortable aspect of this story is the extent Mutti went to provide for her hungry family.  It is a sad story, delicately told, of a desperate woman who exchanges sex for soup. Mutti was a beautiful woman, estranged from her husband, who was used to flirting for favors.  In the flurry of packing up and leaving, Mutti dons a silk blouse, silk stockings, a black velvet jacket and makeup.  When her mother disapproves, she replies:

Mother, our only chance of escape is to be picked up by an army
truck heading west to the American lines. Do you think anyone is going
to stop and pick up a frumpy-looking woman with two children and an
old woman by her side? No. They’ll stop for a pretty, well-dressed woman,
if they stop at all. I am trying to look my very best. If we are lucky,
someone will have a heart and will take a look at me–and stop for us.

Amongst the multiple migrations searching for a safe place, the family takes a small room near the train station.  After months of dwindling food supply and no way to feed her family, Mutti does the unthinkable.  A Russian man starts to visit at night; in the morning a steaming two-liter can of soup sits on the windowsill.  Even so, Wolfgang protests: Mutti, you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing. Only Dad should sleep with you. It is a raw story, a poignant story. Almost every woman Wolfgang was associated with at this point in his life was raped by soldiers. 

Carnage caresses his life.  Besides daily bombings, Wolfgang lives through a strafing attack on a long column of refugees where people five feet from him were killed. He witnesses a school fellow’s drowning.  His father shows up and leads them in a night crossing, dodging Russian patrols, through a blizzard to the American zone. And yet, in the way a child focuses on the immediate things, he also remembers the loneliness of being ostracized by other German boys, the boredom of bad schools, the shame of ill-fitting clothes and the petty corruptions of life in a refugee barracks.  

Living next to RAF Fassberg, Wolfgang witnessed firsthand the continual air traffic of the Berlin airlift. When the Americans arrived, Sergeant Leo Ferguson made his entrance.  He fell in love and married the now-divorced Hedy (Mutti’s name); he was the means for Wolfgang and his Mutti to move to Colorado.  Wolfgang’s sister Ingrid remained with her father.  Enamored with pilots and airplanes, Wolfgang served in the U.S. Air Force for thirty years, retiring as a colonel.  In June 1998, Wolfgang Samuel was a speaker at a conference commemorating the fiftieth anniversary of the Berlin airlift. His story arrested the attention of Stephen Ambrose, who encouraged Samuel to publish his book.

I cannot conceive of circumstances leading to the choices Hedy made.  I shuddered and recoiled as I read.  I have a relative who lived through post-war Austria.  In the past, when I have asked for this person’s story, the answer was always a silent shaking of the head, a polite refusal to revisit that period.  I still have no idea what that story would be, but after having read this book, I am inclined to never again ask that question.
    

Pomp Is a Good Word

…and other one-sentence responses to the royal wedding.

Marriage is worth celebrating…with jubilant exuberance.

Joyful solemnity is just right.

Westminster Abbey is a gift to mankind.

I’ve never before seen a more beautiful veil.

I want to get married again so I can come down the aisle to I Was Glad When They Said Unto Me.

If you care about details, The Program is a must.

Happy to note that everybody sings the hymns;
I only spied one young woman who kept her mouth in a tight line.

The Queen was resplendent in her lemon suit; her smiles are (as glorious and as rare as) sunshine.

Pippa is a pippin!!

Did the Archbishop not have time to get a haircut???

Reading Dorothy Sayer’s The Nine Tailors helped me understand campanology, the study of bell ringing, particularly change ringing.

Interesting to study hands in this ceremony; I especially liked the Archbishop’s binding their hands together.

I am always tender toward the father of the bride when he walks her down the aisle.

James Middleton’s reading of Romans 12 is among the best Scripture reading I’ve ever heard.

Who were the women dressed like nuns?

BRAVO John Rutter!!

The hymn re-harmonizations and descants on the last verses give me goosebumps.

I miss my nephew Will, who could tell me the name and title of every VIP.

The organ and the trumpet are instruments well suited for majestic sounds.

I am all for a renaissance in millinery fashion: look at those hats!

The aerial shots, especially which show the cruciform architecture, make my spirit soar.

Blake’s Jerusalem never fails to move me.

Everyone sees what they want: a skeptic sees things skeptically; a believer sees faithfully.

The Ubi Caritas took me back, with happy sighs, to my Latin class. 

I love the phrase: lost in wonder, love and praise.

Horses and carriage trump motored vehicles for first choice for the Queen and Prince…I like that!

God Bless Your Marriage, William and Catherine.

String, Straightedge, and Shadow

 

Storytelling is the most powerful way to put ideas into the world today.

—Robert McKee

Facts and theorems can be difficult to swallow.  They often get gunked up in the throat, remain lodged in the esophagus, useless for nourishment or growth.  But stories!  Stories get gulped down with eagerness and along with them much useful knowledge is digested.  Julia E. Diggins tells the compelling story of geometry in String, Straight-Edge, and Shadow.  Written for children, it would be beneficial to anyone interested in learning geometry. 

They used the string to trace a circle, to lay off a right angle, to stretch a straight line.
They used as a straightedge anything else with which they could draw a straight line.
They came to realize that shadows are the sun’s handwriting upon the earth to tell the
secrets of order in the universe.

Diggin’s story would be a great stand-alone read; individual chapters, however, could supplement studies of Mesopotamia, Egypt, Babylon, or Greece.  The solutions that geometry offers are told in the context of the problems people faced.  In the question of ancient property rights and surveying farmer’s fields, boundaries could not be casually (by freehand) drawn.  They needed to know how to trace an accurate right-angle corner.  The answer is in roper-stretchers, knotted rope, stakes…and the 3-4-5 right triangle.  Corydon Bell’s illustrations make geometry easier to understand.  What a pleasant introduction to Thales, Pythagorus, Eudoxus, Archimedes and Eratosthenes. 

 

You can read sections of the book herehere and here.  I leave with you the opening quote of this book, from Plato.

But by beauty of shape
I want you to understand
not what the multitude generally
means by this expression,
like the beauty of living beings
or of paintings representing them,
but
something alternatively rectilinear and circular,
and the surfaces and solids
which one can produce
from the rectilinear and circular
with compass, set square, and rule.
For these things are not like the others,
conditionally beautiful,
but are beautiful in themselves.

~ Plato

The Extravagant Frugal Reader

 

   
When I get a little money I buy books;
and if any is left I buy food and clothes.
~ Erasmus

Originally the title of this post was The Frugal Reader. It has a nice cadence, but, alas, I don’t have the chutzpah to carry it off.  My husband reads my blog.

Because I am extravagant when it comes to book acquisition. All the same I like to think of myself as frugal. There are ways to read without weeping over your budget.

The Best Price Is Free 
     
The library is, of course, the one place you can indulge in thrifty reading.  If you live in an urban setting, you have many libraries at your beck.  I am regularly delighted at titles available in our small town library. The fastest growing segment of our library is audio books.  Before we take a trip, we cruise through the library to see what we can hear.

Inter-library loans are another source of free reading.  At my library a small charge for postage keeps IL loans out of the free zone, but they are still a frugal option.

Make friends with book collectors who generously lend their collection.  If you do this, keep borrowed books segregated from your own books.  The best friend is one who returns a borrowed book in the same condition it was lent.

Check to see if your library has free downloads of audio books.  The Oregon Library System employs Library2Go enabling patrons to download thousands of titles from their home computers.

Open Library is a work in progress, with the goal of a web page for every book published.

Librivox provides free audiobooks from the public domain.  These books are narrated by volunteer readers. Some are better than others.

Amazon Kindle has free books available to download. 

Google Books (go to Google and click on the tab “more” for Books) has many ebooks available.  Check on each title.

Project Gutenberg has 33,000 books available to download.

Page by Page
has classics available for free, as does Forgotten Classics; JustFreeBooks is a search engine for free books.

Bloggers often have drawings for free books.  Saturday Review of Books at Semicolon and Books and Movies often keep track of book giveaways.

If you write a book blog and build a following, you can receive free advanced review copies of books from publishers to read.

This one sounds weird and manipulative…but! When you volunteer to help friends move, they often consider it a favor if you take some books off their hands.  This is not why you offer to help!  Same principle applies when helping at a garage sale.  Often books you receive are not books you are interested in reading.  They may be great for trading or swapping to get the books you want to read.  It is shameless of me to mention this.

Finally, build a reputation as a reader and people will approach you with books. “You read,” they mumble as they thrust a box in your arms, “so here are books!” 

Let’s discuss the down side of free. One drawback from borrowing books is that you can’t write in them.  No really, you can’t.  I hope you don’t dog ear any book, but you mustn’t do that to library books. You also have a fixed time to read the books, renewals notwithstanding.  Reading on a screen instead of from a page may or may not be your cuppa. Some Kindle readers have noticed that they read more mediocre books simply because they were free.  I have never pursued free review books from publishers because they would delay me from imbibing in my tottering stacks.  The books are free, but not free from obligation.  Nevertheless, there are endless possibilities for free books.

Less than $5

Library sales are the best place to find books on the cheap.  Book Sale Finder.

Garage sales, yard sales, tag sales often have books.  In our area hardbounds cost $0.50 and paperbacks $0.25.

Thrift stores are another source for bargain books.  Once a month a book scout friend of mine would drive a 350 mile loop, stopping at thrift stores – Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. – looking for books.  For him it was a lucrative hobby to pick up books for 25¢ and sell them for between $10 and $100. But the thrill of the chase and the expectation of finding treasure was what propelled him.  Some of the best times we had in Great Britain were popping into thrift shops looking for books.  I got so I could snift an Oxfam from a mile away.  What confused me is that thrift shops are named for the charity they benefit.  The first time I saw a store called British Heart Foundation I couldn’t imagine what they sold.  

Used bookstores provide a living for their owner, so their prices are necessarily higher.  Still, they have their clearance racks.  The cleaner and better organized the store is, the more you will pay for the books.  If you are willing to dig through piles and stacks and dust bunnies, the slovenly, slightly smelly book shop may reward your efforts.  My favorite chain of used bookstores is Half Price Books, for its large inventory, excellent organization, and pure fun.

A public service announcement.
What is an ISBN?
ISBN stands for International Standard Book Number.
Think of it as a social security number for books.
You can find the ISBN on the back cover of a book,
or near the bottom of the copyright page.

When searching online for a book, it is very helpful to have the book’s ISBN. You can put this 10- or 13-digit number in the search engine.  And where to look online?

At amazon.com there are hundreds (and hundreds!) of used books selling for $0.01, which means that the books will cost you $4.00 after $3.99 is added for shipping.  Still.  I’ve done eye calisthenics that train my eye, whenever searching Amazon, to roam to the right column which says Used From, looking for a bargain price.  But here is another way to find the cheap books on Amazon. It’s a fun experiment! Click on amazon.com.  [Books, Advanced Search, Condition:Used, Format:Printed Books, Sort Results By: Price: Low to High] Click on Search and you will see pages of  $0.01 books.

Ebay.com and half.com have oodles of books for sale.  On the home page of half.com there is a category for $0.99 or less books.  Overstock.com sells books and shipping is always $2.95.  After you click on the category of books to browse, sort by Lowest Price.  If you are looking for a specific title or specific author you don’t need to browse; use the search button. 

The down side of browsing for cheap books is that it is very time-consuming. And you have to wade through pages of titles you are not interested in.  I prefer to keep a list of books I would like to read and look for specific titles. Like browsing in a bookstore, you may come across the occasional winner.

 

Search engines specifically for books can help you find the best bargain.  The first one I used (and thus know best) is fetchbook; others are BookFinder, AddALL.com, Usedbooksearch. When I homeschooled I always checked the availability of used books before I bought new.  One quarter I took my son’s college textbook list, plugged in ISBNs and bought used textbooks at a great savings.

Trade Books for Free - PaperBack Swap.

Another splendid source for books is swapping.  I am a huge fan of Paperbackswap.  It’s an easy concept: you post books you no longer want; when another member requests a book, you mail the book to that member; when that book lover receives the book, you get credit for one free book.  Thus the cost to you for your free book is the cost of the postage to mail the book you didn’t want, normally $2.41.  I’ve been singing PBS praises for years now.  [And it would be silly of me not to mention that if you decide to sign up for PBS, please click on the icon above.  I am Carol B. and my nickname is ilovetolearn.]  Paperbackswap (unfortunately, the name wrongly implies that we don’t swap hardbounds: we do) is only a good deal if you don’t have post office phobias or procrastination tendencies.  You can print out most of the postage and mail from your home.  Patience is a virtue; put a book on your wishlist and you may receive it in two weeks (if it is available) or perhaps in two years (if it is an obscure title, or one so popular that you are in line behind 514 other readers, like I am with the book Outliers).  Book Mooch runs along the same plan as PaperBackSwap. 

The down side of swapping is that you don’t get books as soon as you want them.  And you could post 20 books that others want and have to pay $50 in postage mailing out the books.  To be a successful member you need to be organized enough to get the books mailed when they are requested. 

So there you have it: several ways to score cheap books and satisfy your need to read.  I’m sure you have other ideas…I’d love to hear them.  Happy Reading!

Is This the Face?

Jesus on the Cross, Rembrandt

Is this the Face that thrills with awe
      Seraphs who veil their face above?
Is this the Face without a flaw       
      The Face that is the Face of Love?
Yea, this defaced, a lifeless clod,   
Hath all creation’s love sufficed
Hath satisfied the love of God,       
     This Face the Face of Jesus Christ

Christina Rossetti

Zinsser on Friday

Zinsser on Friday is a sweet reward for waking up on Friday.
What is Zinsser on Friday?
A weekly posting about writing, the arts, and popular culture
by William Zinsser, author of On Writing Well,
based on a favorite quotation or comment.

From today’s offering, Content Management:

Content management. Isn’t that what we used to call “writing”?
I’ve been in the content-management business all my life.
I look for content that interests or amuses me
and then I manage it into a narrative.

It’s what all writers do if they want to keep paying the bills.
Dickens did it very well. So does every good crime writer:
Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie, Raymond Chandler.
Elmore Leonard was once asked how he keeps his novels moving so fast.
He said, “I leave out the parts that people skip.”
That’s content management.
 

Wisdom

 
Wisdom

When I have ceased to break my wings
Against the faultiness of things,
And learned that compromises wait
Behind each hardly opened gate,
When I have looked Life in the eyes,
Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
And taken in exchange–my youth.

Sara Teasdale

Simple Springtime Pleasures

Grape tomatoes ~ a splendid snack-on-the-go

Green buds are visible! Yessss!!

Yellow and white and all things bright (and beautiful)

Chicks are only a simple pleasure when they come to Nana’s
house for a quick visit before they go home.

There is something precious about the first read
of a nourishing book. This was my husband’s
first time reading Trina Schart Hyman’s gloriously
illustrated Saint George and the Dragon.

We have come to the end of our wood for the first time in years.
It was a long winter.
Wood heat is the most comfortable way to get warm.

This is my new favorite treat.  Mix cinnamon and Truvia together.

Dip slices of apple (Granny Smith is my choice) in the cinnamon.

Set the slice on your tongue and savor the flavors. Yuuum!