Bonk!

One of the great joys of being Nana is watching my kids being Dada and Mama.  They have provided security and stability for their boys with lots of laughter and tickles, and plenty of good food.  When one faceplants and is smarting with pain, there are hugs, comfort and plenty of love.  And, sometimes, a bandage. 

But, if the bump, scrape or fall is one of the minor daily occurrences of toddlerhood the response is, “Bonk!” with a cheerful voice.  So often the child gauges his response by the adult’s response.  It is a joy to watch the teaching process involved in one word.  It says yes, you hurt yourself, but stand up and try again.  This is the kind of thing to ignore. 

I realized that my native tendency is the opposite of “Bonk!”  I really want Acknowledgement of the Struggles and Difficulties and Frustrations and Challenges of my life. I am a regular Florence Nightengale when it comes to nursing my own aches and stresses.  I need someone to say, So it was a hard day with barely time to catch a breath?  Bonk!  I need to remind myself every time the printer jams yet again…Bonk! 

And that is where gratitude enters.  Choosing to be thankful instead of choosing to mope and pout.   I think gratitude, like repentance, is a gift from our Creator.  That is my prayer this morning.  “Give me a thankful heart.”  And I need people around me to remind me to take the little problems of my life less seriously.  Bonk!

O Lord that lends me life,

Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.   


~ William Shakespeare

Road Tripping

It has been said that the dynamics of two people driving in a car are perfect for deep conversation.  You are both facing the same direction, which is more conducive to open disclosure, less threatening than facing each other.  It is possible in a car to have very few distractions that normally disrupt discourse between two people. On a journey of any distance you have the greatest luxury: time.  Time for the talk to meander the way a wild river wanders, rambles and loops.  Time for a topic to steep and brew and be set aside before drinking it down. 

Some of my best memories are of long car trips we’ve taken. 

Our honeymoon was spent driving from Wheaton to the West Coast.  As we approached South Dakota my husband became animated, anticipating Reptile Gardens.  Please!  Why would someone actually pay money to see snakes dripping from trees?  My lack of enthusiasm had no dampening effect on Curt.  But I was driving and he was sleeping when we cruised through Rapid City right past that repulsive place.  A mile down the road I had a throbbing fit of conscience, made a U-ie across the meridian, and drove back to the exit.  True love.  It is one of the great mysteries of my life that three times I have paid to be a snake spectator.

I was raised in a large family, with a Stop For Gas Only policy.  Your bodily needs had to coordinate themselves to the car’s fuel tank.  One learned early The Precautionary Pee.  “Just try,” Mom would say.   I had the good fortune of marrying a man who takes the first exit when the need for a facility is expressed. Whew!

We listen to music, lots of audio books, sermons, seminars and audio magazines.  Sometimes I read a book aloud.  But the rich moments are when we talk.  (Aside: If I had younguns, I’d be one of those mean moms who would restrict the use of personal DVD players.  Why?  Because they rob you of thinking time.  And talking time.  Without them the brain has space to stretch.) 

I got to thinking of gerunds that come along on road trips:

reviewing
anticipating
planning
evaluating
arguing
reminiscing
teasing
describing
asking
responding
pondering
playing
reminding
wondering
looking
pointing
photographing
drinking
spitting (seeds)
cussing*
discussing
listening

While I love the speed of airline travel, car trips seem more….organic.  Remember all the songs and games of childhood trips?  Hagaleena Bagaleena, Do Your Ears Hang Low, Alphabet I Spy, License Plate games…

Road trips have been a great adhesive.

Agree or disagree?  What road trips do you remember?

* the cleaned up words, don’t ya know…

 

Isaac and his Devils

Isaac Hooker is the firstborn son from a mismatched marriage of a bookish, pipe smoking, poetry loving man and a scrappy catty white-trash woman.  Isaac has a genius intellect housed in a fat, slovenly, near-sighted, deaf-in-one-ear body, a “village idiot” who looked like “he ought to be institutionalized at the state’s expense.” Not your garden variety protagonist. 

Isaac at fifteen was a sight at once comical and a little alarming.  Blond shag standing on end, mouth a crimson popsicle, fat knees popping through his dungarees, he looked like a baby swelled up to man size, a parade-day float–a rubescent child-giant whose bobbing head and gesticulating limbs expressed a kind of runny, overflowing, ludicrously hopeful joy, self-importance, a desperation both to dominate and to be loved. 

The first part of Isaac’s story has many paeans to the joys of reading, to an appetite for learning.

And this broad scattering of [literary] wealth, this hoarding of precious objects in remote places, is what has secured the preservation and transmission of learning.  The earliest extant scrolls of Isaiah and the Psalms survived because a small community of malcontents decided to leave Roman-occupied Jerusalem and live in caves i the desert.  Bishop Wulfstan lived in Yorkshire in the eleventh century and by sheer longevity and isolation is said single-handedly to have ensured that English prose outlived the Norman Conquest.  You can lament the homogenization of contemporary life, with every hamlet sprouting the same franchises, and local dialects and costume melting into a bland uniformity, but look closer and see the secret richness, the ineradicable quirks.  

Surely some of you can relate to the marking of time by your reading (for me the summer of 1986 is the Summer of Dostoyevsky):

He marked his calendar by his reading as his neighbors marked time by sickness and natural disaster; they knew the winter of ’68 as the year the McCormick’s house burned down and Frank Olszewski was killed in Vietnam.  Sam knew it as the season  he read The Charterhouse of Parma in a fit of such caught exultation he could hardly breathe.

I can just about guarantee that the prose in Isaac and His Devils is three notches above whatever you are reading right now.  Eberstadt’s sentences are well-crafted, a joy to read.  I am smitten when an author can express something I’ve felt but have never articulated.  A sense of recognition and delight in having words to describe that circumstance or feeling.  Not only does Eberstadt write well, she writes with the knowledge base of a classicist.  [addendum: Eberstadt’s grandfather is Ogden Nash; at 16 she worked in Andy Warhol’s factory; she studied at Oxford.]

But the storyline took a turn – a liaison between a teacher and a student – that turned me off. And what I consider a potentially great novel petered out.

Why did I read this?  George Grant, one of my favorite book reviewers, caught my attention with these words:

Fernanda Eberstadt, in her brilliant coming-of-age novel, Isaac and His Devils, captured this sentiment: “Humility has a dank and shameful smell to the worldly, the scent of failure, lowliness, and obscurity.”

I have never come across another reference to this author or this book.  I’m willing to read more by her.  I’m satisfied to have the quotes written in my journal, but this is not a book I plan to keep or re-read. 

Nothing But A Comma

(A professor, denouncing this punctuation:
Death be not proud; Death thou shalt die!)

Nothing but a breath, a comma, separates life from life everlasting.
Very simple, really.
With the original punctuation restored, death is no longer
something to act out on a stage with exclamation marks.
It is a comma, a pause.
And death shall be no more, death thou shalt die.

Emma Thompson, the reason why Sense and Sensibility is my favorite movie, Emma Thompson of Much Ado, Henry V       and…  and…  

Emma Thompson played her most convincing role yet as Vivian Bearing, a scholar of 17th century poetry, an expert on John Donne.  Wit is the story of Professor Bearing’s journey through advanced ovarian cancer. 

This movie is heavy.  Heartbreakingly heavy.  It’s the kind of movie that saturates you.  Words, cancer and Emma.  Most of the movie is shot as a monologue with Emma talking directly to the camera.  Thompson is a marvel at giving each syllable its due. 

One thing that can be said for an eight month course
of cancer treatment: it is highly educational.
I am learning to suffer.

Audra McDonald plays the part of Suzie, Vivian’s primary nurse.  Fabulous.  She looked so familiar and it finally came to me.  Audra is also an opera singer.  My husband and I both fell in love with Audra McDonald one quiet Christmas afternoon, watching her sing.  You will love the way Suzie cares – in all its meanings — for Vivian.  How profound is a dollop of lotion and a hand massage.

I am a scholar.
Or I was…when I had shoes…or eyebrows.

When Vivian’s aged mentor visits her in the hospital and reads her Runaway Bunny, I was sobbing.  It demonstrates that sometimes simple words are the best.  It reminded me of a bedside scene in Bleak House where a young woman simply says the Lord’s Prayer. 

Words.  You will never forget the meaning of soporific.  My old friend concatenation had its half-second of fame.  Even the name of the protagonist is interesting:  Vivian – which evokes all those Latinate vivo- words – means lively.  Bearing gives the sense of what she is doing with all the cancer treatment: bearing it. 

Why is such a sorrowful movie called Wit?  John Donne is called a metaphysical wit, the word wit used in the sense of keen discernment or exceptional intelligence. 

The words of Donne did me in.  Just like watching Julie & Julia makes you want to cook up a wonderful meal, watching Wit makes me yearn to learn Donne, to have his potent poetry memorized.  I’m particularly interested in his Devotions upon Emergent Occasions.   The first thing I did after the credits had rolled and I had picked the puddle of myself up from my chair was go to Amazon and put the DVD (only 5.99!) in my shopping cart.  Clicking on the picture below takes you there.

…and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest…

Mark, DisMark, ReMark


“Why is marking a book indispensable to reading it?
First, it keeps you awake – not merely conscious, but wide awake.
Second, reading, if it is active, is thinking, and thinking
tends to express itself in words, spoken or written…
Third, writing your reactions down helps you
to remember the thoughts of the author.”

“There are all kinds of devices for marking a book intelligently
and fruitfully.  Here are some of the devices that can be used:

1. Underlining
2.  Vertical lines at the margin
3. Star, asterisk, or other doodad at the margin.
4. Numbers in the margin.
5. Numbers of other pages in the margin.
6. Circling of key words or phrases.
7. Writing in the margin, or at the top or bottom of page.”

~  Mortimer J. Adler & Charles Van Doren in How to Read a Book

~     ~     ~

Why has the decision to mark a book become an issue in my life?
Because I can’t post a book on PaperBackSwap.com - Book Club to Swap, Trade & Exchange Books for Free. if it has been marked.

When I pick up a book to read first I evaluate:
Is this a book I plan to keep,
or a book I plan to read and release?

Only when I’m certain sure this book is mine, do I go wild with the highlighter.
When I’m fairly sure, I use a soft pencil that can be erased.
If I think I’ll trade it, I flag phrases to be copied.

At times I’ve really, ahem, missed the mark.

Both directions.

I’ve marked up a book, that I’ve decided isn’t worthy of my shelf.
And I’ve kept a book spankin’ clean, decide I want it permanently,
and be terrifically annoyed with myself for not marking the good spots.

Remarking is something that happens the second time through a good book.

I like to acquire used books with markings in them.
Especially if someone wonderful (like my Latin teacher)
owned them before me.

I particularly like to write in the very front page.
When it always took so long to find my favorite quote
from Middlemarch, I began making front notes. 
Now I know it’s on p. 228

[Here’s the front page of one of my current reads:

Viet Nam means land of the south
Ho Chi Mingh “He who brings enlightenment”
Korea – High mountains and sparkling water
Pakistan – p. 62
xii First World – free market, Second World – Soviet bloc, Third World – economically underdeveloped
Raj = reign
caste system p. 49]

Dog-earring a book is a withering sin.

Wouldn’t it be fun to read through the libraries of certain people?
Books they’ve marked?

Do you mark your books?
Whose marked-up books would you like to read?

Simple Pleasures in September

 

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~   Hospitality is thriving in Eastern Oregon.  Friends have befriended us on long wedding weekends, fed us incredible crepes (or breakfast burritos, depending on the host) and let us share in their home life; here Xander is hugging on his kitty.

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~  To be honest, my garden has been ugly this year.  Curt tilled the ground, I planted, my son watered, and we all ignored both weeds and fruit (exceptin’ the luscious raspberries).  Just. too. busy. Saturday was the first opportunity for….well, you decide: is it redemption or atonement?  There were enough tomatoes for a large batch of spaghetti sauce and a large batch of fresh salsa.   We’ve been eating Swiss chard.  Beans and peas just didn’t grow this year.  The beets and butternut squash still need to be harvested.

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~  New, fun game to play.  I know some girls who are devastatingly good Blokus players.  It is now my goal to be able to hold my own against these masterminds.  I like this game because it can be enjoyed at different levels of proficiency.  My four year old grandson and I had fun just playing with the pieces. 

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~  Aren’t birthdays a simple pleasure?  Because life is a gift.  And the best response to a gift is to return thanks.  The recent death of our friend Joe (21 years old) in Afghanistan, is a painful, bittersweet reminder to treasure each moment.  Today is my birthday and I am thankful to God for the beautiful life He’s given me.  For daily mercies.  For forgiveness. 

Aging has its compensations.  Now that my husband is older he is more inclined to snuggle than to bounce right out of bed. There is that.

To start the celebration, I’m bringing a rhubarb-apple-pear cobbler to work.

“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it.  I want to have lived the width (*and depth* I would add) of it as well.”   ~ Diane Ackerman

 

Gas or Electric?

 

Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.

Curt and I have a history of sticking with an oven/range until its final, gasping breath.  Back in 1981, our $50 used unit succumbed in increments: first the oven, next a small burner, followed by a large burner, then a small burner.  It was Curt’s first year teaching and coaching at the local high school; I was working for a CPA.  We had just bought our first house and were living without margins.

I perfected “skillet dishes” until we scraped enough money together for a new stove, the cheapest, stripped-down “contractor’s model” the store sold.  It had one large burner and three small instead of two and two; no self-cleaning oven; it was so basic a range the buffalos were still roaming on it.

Call me Dutch, call me Yankee Frugal, call me crazy, but I couldn’t justify getting a new stove until this one was worn out.  And blast!  That stupid thing Refused To Quit.  The appliance repairman came back in 1997; I danced in anticipation of a new stove.  Bob put in a new element ($17) and it was good to go. 

That silly $200 stove is Still Working.

Except. The oven door is sprung.  Opening the door is similar to a child safety lock on a pill bottle: push down, twist a little until you find the sweet spot, yank it open.  That works.  But if you actually want to bake, you will want a bungee cord to hold the door firmly shut.

Last night Curt told me my birthday present would be a new stove!   What?  The burners still work! 

Here is the Big Question: Electric or Gas? 

I’ve never cooked with gas in my life but that is what I’m leaning towards.  We have gas in this house but would have to bring it over to the stove.  I know you must have an opinion.  I would LOVE to hear it. 

Excuse me.

I need to go work on my Hava Nagila…..People!!  I’m getting a new stove!!!

 

Wonderful Wedding Moments

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Saturday we celebrated the wedding of Julie and Daniel, the fourth and final wedding of the year in our church community.   In this lovely picture (credit: Matthew Hurley), we are dancing a Virginia Reel.  Isn’t Julie beautiful?  She is wearing the same dress her mom, aunt and grandma wore with a gorgeous pair of cowboy boots underneath.  Directly behind her is Isaiah (white shirt) for whom many of you prayed to wake up from a coma.  There he is, dancing!  I’m leaning forward, ready to twirl around.

It was a wonderful wedding. I woke this morning through a floodtide of memories…moments worth recording:

~  The groomsmen’s toasts were simply amazing.  My friend leaned over and whispered, “If these are the kind of guys Daniel is friends with, it speaks very highly of him.”  The masterpiece was the song written by one of the best men, Daniel Went Down to Wallowa, modeled on The Devil Went Down to Georgia

 

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 ~  Collaborating with a college freshman on the composition of a violin descant for St. Patrick’s Breastplate, the bridal processional, was a hoot! We had more fun isolating a musical phrase and pulling a blues riff from it when we should have been focusing on the descant. Julie entered during the centerpiece of the song: Christ be with me.  My first exposure to NoteWorthy Composer software has me drooling.

~  I looked across the table and said, “Krista, You. are. beautiful.”  Her mother, holding with a squirming grandson agreed, “She really is.”  Krista smiled and explained, “My husband’s love makes me beautiful.”  And.  It was so sweet and genuine, not a Sunday School answer, if you know what I mean.

~  The. Kiss.

~   Our Bonnie (mother of the bride, a friend who belongs to us all) displayed extraordinary beauty and serenity.  Hosting a wedding reception in her back pasture was no worry.  She glowed with the light of grace.  It has been five years since she fought Stage 3 cancer.  We are so thankful for God’s kindness displayed in her life.

~  The entrance of the cake, held high and carried around all the tables and delivered to the head table by a Best Man (there were two), while a jig was played on the violin.  

~  When I heard the men were wearing Wranglers I was a skeptic.  However. They looked exceedingly handsome in their Chocolate Black Wranglers with cowboy boots, formal vests and, after the ceremony, cowboy hats.

~  It has been a glorious summer.  Glory can be fatiguing but it is a Good Tired.  A Happy Tired.  Looking back with a young friend, we smiled and sighed and took a deep, cleansing breath.  “Well,” she said, “I guess it’s time to start a new season of love!”