Category Archives: Uncategorized

I Wanted to Slap Him!

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Can you imagine who?  John Bunyan!  Gracious!  I was reading his spiritual autobiography, Grace Abounding, the true story behind the allegory in Pilgrim’s Progress. The two books are natural companions.  According to W.R. Owen in the introduction, “Conversion, according to Bunyan’s view of it (unlike that of some later evangelicals) was no instantaneous event or abrupt redirection of the spiritual life but a long and arduous progression.” 

Arduous, indeed!  His pilgrimage to grace was a tortured, tormented, harrowing, distressing, despairing, vexing, perplexing, troubled, tossed, afflicted, wringing, gnashing, twining, twisting, trembling, pining, grievous, groaning and moaning journey [descriptive words taken from the text].

Dotted among trials and temptations of the soul were a few moments of relief, some words of comfort which assuaged his fears, a sprinkled punctuation of hope.  But did they last?  No, no, no  – back to the miry bog we went.  I laughed aloud (in sympathy) when after one of those moments of sweet relief  Bunyan wrote,

Where I said in my soul with much gladness, well, I would I had a pen and ink here, I would write this down before I go any further, for surely I will not forget this, forty years hence; but alas! within less than forty days I began to question all again.  p. 26 emphasis mine

Reading this book felt like reading and watching The Two Towers.  A year of dark nights, a constant battle with darkness, a weary, dreary struggle.  I came to the point where, I admit, I wanted to slap him and say, “Stop It!”  Bunyan did eventually come to the point where the chains fell off, temptations fled away and he had assurance in the work of Christ to keep his soul. 

And you know what?  His great struggles made him a better pastor.  The section about his ministry (265 – 339 – the paragraphs are numbered) should be required reading for every pastor, really for every serious Christian.  Bunyan writes that one of the causes of his protracted struggle with assurance was

…that I did not, when I was delivered from the temptation that went before, still pray to God to keep me from temptations that were to come:  p. 61
 

Compare that to this to a reflection from Christiana:

Alas, said Christiana, we were so taken with our present blessings that dangers to come were forgotten by us;   ~ Pilgrim’s Progress p. 255    

* Grace Abounding is available to read on the internet here.*

Bread-and-Butter Gifts

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A bread-and-butter gift is a token gift that you usually give en masse to folks on your list.  Your neighbors, your friends at church, your co-workers, your spouse’s co-workers, your neighbor’s co-workers, your paper boy, your hairdresser, your Great Aunt Matilda…  Token is the operative word.  I like to think of weird things and I usually manage to humiliate one or more of my children.  I just bet some of you could come up with some ideas just as strange as these.

~ Great, fun, (and cheap) books


Food and Drink costs $1.50/Music $2.00
Save 25% on orders more than $40 (exp Dec 15)
Free shipping with $50 order
Dover Publications Coupon code: DH25

~ Parchment Paper
I bought a case of 1000 at a restaurant supply store.
I took 20 pieces, rolled them up, with a  paper explaining  it,
and tied them with ribbon or raffia.
This was met with squeals of exultation or blank stares.

~  Teresa’s Pan Spread
I got this recipe from a friend who cooks for large groups regularly.
Equal parts: Crisco, vegetable oil, flour
Beat in mixer on high speed until smooth.
Keep in fridge.
I use it in cooking all the time, in place of No-stick cooking spray.
I bought cute little pastry brushes to go with the jar.
[Moth-ER! I can’t beLIEVE you are giving grease to people as a gift!]

~ Al’s Sweet Hot Mustard

4 oz. dry mustard
 (buy this in bulk at health food store)
1 cup white vinegar
2 cups sugar
8 eggs

Mix mustard and vinegar and let sit for at least 8 hours.
Add sugar and eggs.
In double boiler, stir over steaming water until it thickens.
Store in pint jars in refrigerator.
I double the recipe and make several batches.

~ Hamburger Jerky

12 pounds (elk) hamburger
2 – 3 T liquid smoke
1 T tenderizer
3 T onion powder
2 T lemon pepper
2 T seasoned salt
2 T garlic powder
4 1/2 T red pepper flakes
2 cups brown sugar
1 cup Yoshida’s Gourmet Sauce
1 T hot sauce

Mix well and load into a jerky gun.
Dry in food dryer.

* * * * * * * * *
This year’s token is Hot Fudge Sauce.
The others are ideas for the future.

~ Hot Fudge Sauce

1 C sugar
1/4 C baking cocoa
1/4 C corn starch
1 C boiling water
1 T butter
1 tsp real vanilla

Combine sugar, cocoa, and cornstarch in a saucepan.
Add water and cook over medium-high heat  slowly until thick.
Remove from heat an stir in butter and vanilla until smooth.
Already I’ve messed up a big batch! Yikes!
It took so long to thicken, I started reading blogs…
Next batch, I’m simmering instead of medium-heating.

~ BBQ Sauce

1 T liquid smoke
2 # 10 cans ketchup
5 lbs honey
2 C prepared mustard
2 C vinegar
1 tsp onion powder
1/4 C Worcestershire Sauce

~ Sheri’s Homemade Chai Mix
12 tsp tea leaves

Grind, but not too fine:
24 cardamom
6 sticks cinnamon
24 cloves

1 1/2 tsp ground ginger
2 1/2 cup sugar

Mix together.

To use:
3 T mix + 2 C water
Boil 10-15 minutes
Add 1/2 cup milk.
Strain and drink.

~  Healthy Vinaigrette

Recipe here.

~ Brenda’s Poppyseed Loaf

Message me, if you’d like the recipe.
It’s too long for this.
But oh my, it is my husband’s favorite.

~ Lemon Curd

Recipe and photos here.
Limbolady recommended this *with a box of gingersnaps*!

Giving with Grace

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photo taken yesterday by son Collin

I wrote here about the problem.  Some friends of mine can help with solutions.

Alyssa is a natural shopper.  She finds wonderful bargains and is always looking for potential gifts.  Shopping, after all, is a skill. Alyssa knows which stores to avoid and which stores to patronize.  She instinctively knows where to look; she also knows when to shop; finally she knows her recipients.  She finds treasures on the after-holiday clearance shelves, she has good taste, and she considers her loved ones when she shops.  When she finds a product she particularly loves– socks, tea or gardener’s hand-creme– she looks for a supplier with the best price.  Alyssa doesn’t spend outrageous sums: she knows how to convert two dollars into a small plant or a special candle that says, “I appreciate you.” Alyssa keeps a gift drawer and usually resists the impulse to give her treasures prematurely. 

Chloe is creative.  Chloe always gives a piece of herself.  She used to scrapbook, but now leans more toward computer graphics and photography.  Chloe jumps in the deep end: her first quilt was a queen-sized duvet for her husband’s parents. When she sits down, she picks up her yarn and needles.  Chloe gave her college-age kids and their best friends a shipment of homemade cookies every month  as a high school graduation gift.  Chloe listens.  When her friend mentioned how much she’d like a tea cozy, Chloe converted a scrap of peculiar fabric into a way-cool cozy.  When Chloe’s pastor’s wife went through a series of medical procedures, Chloe wrote a note of encouragement to her each week. 

Clarissa, by the way, does it all.  It would be fun to hate Clarissa, but it would also be impossible. She’s just too wonderful.  Clarissa is the queen of gift baskets.  Clarissa does everything by dozens.  She reupholsters furniture in her spare time.  She probably plays the trombone in secret, just for fun. She makes cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. Ask Clarissa how she gets it all done and she shrugs as if you’d asked her how she manages to breathe. 

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

Alyssa, Chloe and Clarissa are composites of friends I admire, friends to imitate.  For the Alyssas, the Chloes and the Clarissas of the world, giving is a hoot.  A pure whacked-out joy!  Sure, they get stuck at times – but they look at those sticky situations as a fun challenge.  If they were sitting across the table from you this morning, perhaps they would give you these tips. 

1.  Take time.   Gift cards are the closest thing to instant gifts; they are certainly appropriate at times.  However, we usually underestimate the time it takes to put a (non-gift card) gift together.  Undoubtedly we don’t figure in the time it takes to coordinate all the gifts of the Christmas season. By not planning ahead, we are caught wandering WalMart on December 23rd.  If  you work on this throughout the year the time is spread out into smaller chunks.  The discipline of thinking, exploring ideas, making plans, executing them, cleaning up afterwards: it all takes time.

2.  Give time.  A phone call, a cup of coffee together, a free afternoon to work together on a project: these are all precious gifts.  Last Wednesday I received a piece of bad news which paralyzed me while I processed the emotions.  I needed to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner, but couldn’t get moving. My perceptive daughter-in-law suggested that we go grocery shopping together.  She didn’t need to shop; she sensed my paralysis and wanted to help me through the fog.

3.  Take courage.  So many socially awkward scenarios wouldn’t be awkward if we weren’t afraid.  Know what you can afford and work within your boundaries. It’s okay to give someone a small gift in comparison to the large(r) gift you received, if that’s what you can manage.  The world will not end if you are given a gift – an expression of love – and you receive it graciously without reciprocating.  

4.  Give freely.  Free of expectations.  Free of the need of reassurance.  Free of manipulation.  Free of guilt.

5.  Take off your own desires.  Especially for people who are, um, different.  So often we selfishly give what we would like to receive, with little regard for the pleasure of the recipient.  A mature giver recognizes differences and works at discovering the preferences of others.  It’s a wide, wide world and thank goodness we’re not all alike.

6.  Give what you love.  This contradicts the words above.  You have to know your loved one.  Christmas is a great time to share the books, music, food, clothing and products you’ve discovered over the past year, if the recipient is inclined towards books, music or products.     

and two tips about gracious receiving…

7.  Take care not to dissemble.  If you lie, and say you love fruitcake, you may get fruitcake every year until you die.  I always chuckle at Judith Viorst’s line: “Dear Aunt Agatha, My mom said to write you and let you know how much I enjoyed the gray slippers you gave me.  Not much.”  When the gift doesn’t appeal to you, focus on the giver: it was thoughtful of you… it was kind of you… Wow! You remembered  our family! … Honesty and kindness do not live on different continents. 

8.  Give thanks.  Gratitude is so becoming. It takes a little effort and planning.  I still struggle with this one, often falling down on the task because I start writing thank you novels instead of thank you notes.  Be specific.  Generic thank you notes that don’t even mention the gift are lame.   

My favorite gift, the bread-and-butter-gift, tomorrow!

What would you add to this list of give and takes?
     

Finished Kristin Lavransdatter

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Previous posts on Kristin here and here.

I just finished the last page of the last book in the Kristin Lavransdatter trilogy.

I read the first book in one day, the second over a few weeks and then bogged down in the third.  I think the third book was difficult because Kristin was reaping the results of decisions made in her youth.  The hot/cold relationship with her husband went mostly cold/cold.  Kristin watches as her boys follow in the sins of their father or their mother. She sees herself in her sons and begins to understand what it is her own parents went through.

It didn’t exactly make for jolly fireside reading. However, the insights I knew would be there compelled me to pick it up and finish.  Revived, I marveled again at the powerful prose which  distilled everyday emotions into their essence.

In her father’s soul there had dwelt somewhat else besides that deep, sweet tenderness.  She had learned, with the years, to understand it — her father’s wondrous gentleness came not therefrom that the saw not clear enough the faults and the vileness of mankind, but that he was ever searching his own heart before his God and bruising it with the repentance for his own sins. p.224

I find myself wanting to loan my copies out to this friend and that; and yet, simultaneously, wanting to hold on to the books so these sentences are at my beck and call.

I think of my friend Btolly who loves her cow when I read this:

She went to the byre herself to help in the milking.  It was ever pleasant to her, this hour when she sat in the dark close in to the swelling cow-flank, and felt the milk’s sweet breath in her nostrils. p.20

…and my friend Tanabu Girl, who learned Latin with me from Magister Dilectus and now teaches it:

And the year Björgulf and Nikulaus were at Tautra cloister with Sira Eiliv, they had sucked–so said the priest– at the breasts of Lady Knowledge with fiery zeal.  The teacher there was an aged monk, who, busy as a bee, had gathered learning his whole life long from all the books he could come by, Latin or Norse.  Sira Eiliv was himself a lover so wisdom, but, in the years at Husaby, he had had little chance to follow this bent towards book-lore.  For him the fellowship with Lector Aslak was like sæter-pasture to starved cattle.  And the two young boys, who, among the monks, clung to their home-priest, followed, open-mouthed, the two men’s learned talk.  And brother Aslak and Sira Eiliv found delight in feeding the two young minds with the most delicious honey from the cloister’s bookshelves, whereto brother Aslak himself had added many copies and excerpts from the choicest books.  Soon the boys became so skilled that the monk had rarely need to speak to them in the Norse tongue, and, when their parents came to fetch them, they both could answer the priest in Latin, glibly and without many slips. p.138

Oh, if you have a thoughtful reader on your list, especially–but not necessarily–a young woman, these books would be a wonderful gift.

I gave the new translation  to my sister Dorothy for her birthday.  I’m eager to talk with her about it.  I am ready to read the trilogy again in that translation in 2008.

Kristin Lavransdatter.

In the top three of the best books I’ve ever read.

Victims of Prosperity

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I’m trying, really trying, not to make this a rant.  I’m just saying.  There is a difference.  As I type, I am trying to keep my written voice low and steady.  No screamin’ meamies allowed. 

This thought began in July when a house down the street from us put the makings of a garage sale on the corner of their lot with a sign that said, FREE. [Our Salvation Army went out of business (!); which means there is no local entity that accepts donations.] The pile sat there for day after day after day. Weeks later the lonely and neglected pile remained. Gracious, I thought, we have become such a prosperous people that we can’t even give away our stuff.   

This morning, while I was serenely sipping tea and soaking in the heat from the wood stove, I received an SOS call from a relative who was shopping, totally bereft of gift ideas for certain loved one.  “I feel your pain,” was about the best I could do. 

It has become the national question: 
“What do you get for the person who has everything?” 

The problem is that everyone on my list, down to my grandson, fits that description. 

Our lack of want is stealing some of the joy, don’t you think?  We’ve become victims of our own prosperity.

Because I’m not a shopper, I’m not a good gift giver.  I’d rather clean toilets than shop in a store full of grimacing people listening to tinny canned music.  And if I give into the temptation to procrastinate I find myself in the most loathsome position possible:  wandering around WalMart on December 22nd, looking for some plastic thing made in China to wrap and give.  Blech.

Because I’m not a good observer, I’m not a good gift giver.  I really don’t remember which colors my daughters (in-law) love to wear.  Or what makes my mother-in-law’s eyes light up.   An organized person would have a little notebook and  keep track throughout the year.  An observant person would know without the notebook…

The fact is that it is easy to get gifts for people who share the same tastes and interests that you do.  When you see/read/smell/taste/drink something you love, you know that person would also love it.  Somehow, we often end up related to people who don’t share our tastes!  My friend put it well:  [insert name] and I always give each other hair products because we just don’t know each other very well even though we are closely related. 

Perfectionism can also block the way.  The search for the perfect gift, the one sure to delight, can keep us from getting something pretty good. 

Thus far, the problem.

The truth is that it is more joyful to give than to receive.  Do you remember the moment when you got it right?  When the gift was opened and then the eyes opened wide?  The little “o”, and the sucked in breath?  The wonder? The delight? 

Gifts should be an expression of love, not a tribute to obligation.  How do we express our love in a way that is fitting, true, full of delight? 

More to come….

Admire the Hand of God’s Providence

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photo by brother Dan
“I frequently sat down to my meat with thankfulness, and admired the hand of God’s providence, which had thus spread my table in the wilderness. 

I learned to look more upon the bright side of my condition, and less upon the dark side, and to consider what I enjoyed, rather than what I wanted, and this gave me sometimes such secret comforts, that I cannot express them;

and which I take notice of here, to put those discontented people in mind of it, who cannot enjoy comfortably what God has given them, because they see and covet something He has not given them. 

All our discontents about what we want appeared to me to spring from the want of thankfulness for what we have.”
                               ~ Daniel Defoe in Robinson Crusoe

Macro Thanksgivings

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Yesterday, the girl I’m tutoring was restless and excited.
She had one day of school this week before a trip home.
We needed an absorbing subject.
We explored the rudiments of macro (closeup) photography.

The tulip is a universal icon of the close-focus mode.
Sure enough I found a tulip on our camera.

These pix are still not close enough to be considered macro.

It was fun
… to look at the back yard differently.
… to find strawberries that had been hiding
… to see fall colors yesterday which are blanketed with white snow today
… to learn something completely new
… to begin the learning process with my camera
(if I learn one new trick a week, I’ll know 18 tricks before Scotland)

Does your digital camera have a tiny tulip icon on it?
(Mine was on the LCD display, after I pressed a “focus” button.)

“Gratitude unlocks
the fullness of life. 
It turns what we
have into enough, and more. 
It turns
denial into acceptance,
chaos to order,
confusion to clarity. 
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into
a home,
a stranger into a friend. 

Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a
vision for tomorrow.” 
Melody
Beattie

(thanks to my SIL Kathie for that quote
…and for the box of 25 (!) travel/guide books
which arrived yesterday.  Woot!)

Creative Christmas Gifts

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I promise to focus on Thanksgiving…starting tomorrow!   Here are two creative gift ideas.

The first is from my niece Olivia.  One year she did Memories in a Bottle.  She typed up short vignettes, even two-or-three-sentence memories on the long side of brightly colored paper (Page Setup Landscape).   She folded these strips into accordion  folds and put them into a  decorative bottle. [Example: I remember when we drank Hot Chocolate every Sunday night before we went to bed.  The memory of the melted marshmallows still warms me.]  She typed up enough strips so her parents could shake out a folded strip of paper and read one a day until Valentines Day. 

This would work well in any direction: grandparents, parents, siblings, child.  I think it might be especially good for the child who needs to be reminded of his/her roots.  It’s a gift that needs some time for the yeast of ideas to rise. 

The second, Countdown to Christmas, comes from my next door friend/neighbor Rhonda.  Her daughter Lori is a teacher overseas and won’t be able to come home for Christmas.  Her daughter asked family not to send bulky items which will be expensive to ship home later. 

Rhonda’s Christmas Gift to her daughter is a collection of memories. Rhonda asked friends and family to write a letter to Lori, including pictures, and give the letter to Rhonda by this weekend.  She made a beautiful binder with a letter for each day of December enclosed in page protectors.  The letters go behind a page for each day of December which has photos from Lori’s childhood artistically added. 

I can’t describe the creativity that I saw last night, both in form of the letters, and in the pages marking the days.  This is the perfect project for scrapbookers.  It is small enough in scope to actually get finished!

The package will be mailed today and get to Lori by December 1st.  Wouldn’t this be a great idea for soldiers, missionaries or friends overseas?  It’s a lovely idea for any long-distance loved one.   

Cleaning the Grout

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I have a tendency, when the pressure is on, to lose myself in tiny details, neatly blocking out the necessary big items.  We have a phrase for this in our family lexicon: I’m cleaning the grout.  While cobwebs are merrily waving hello, food in my fridge needs to wave goodbye; while beds need to be changed, batteries need to be charged; while dust bunnies need to be banished and resident dirt needs to be dismissed — I take up a toothbrush and focus in on two square inches of grout. 

My grout at the moment is the issue of Christmas stamps.  This is a tiny detail in the totality of Advent, but one about which I happen to care.  Here are some choices.  Generally there is a secular choice and a religious choice.  There are some other non-holiday stamps which might work.


Holiday Knits. 
Folks, these are a little too, um, folksy for me.
They remind me of Grandma Sweatshirts.
You are allowed to like them, though…

Luini’s Madonna of the Carnation
I like this as art.
But I’m not sure as a stamp.
I’m betwixt and between.

Polar Lights
These are certainly colorful. 
I will purchase some of these for regular correspondence and bills.

Celebrate
I guess this stamp replaces the traditional Happy Birthday stamp.
Christmas is the ultimate reason to celebrate, no?

Okay, it’s audience participation time.
What is your favorite?
Do you care?

Home

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Home

Some books are read simply for pleasure.  Let’s call them Baby Bear books.  Some books are read primarily for education or information.  These would be Papa Bear books.  But some books are a pleasure to read while they instruct.  Home is a perfectly just-right Mama Bear book. 

I had great expectations for this book, recommended as it was by George Grant.  The first chapter was disappointing, focusing on Ralph Lauren, nostalgia and invented tradition.  Beyond chapter one, however, the book was an absorbing and satisfying read.

Home is a culture history of comfort. 

The idea of comfort has developed historically.  It is an idea that has meant different things at different times.  In the seventeenth century, comfort meant privacy, which led to intimacy and, in turn, to domesticity.  The eighteenth century shifted the emphasis to leisure and ease, the nineteenth to mechanically aided comforts – light, heat, and ventilation.  The twentieth-century domestic engineers stressed efficiency and convenience.  p. 231

As a confirmed word-bird, I particularly enjoyed all the little etymological notes, some of which I cannot resist sharing with you:

~ comfort originally meant to strengthen or console » comforter meant someone who aided or abetted a crime » ample, but not luxurious » physical well-being and enjoyment, a word used often in Jane Austen’s novels

Take a word like “weekend,” which originated at the end of the nineteenth century.  Unlike the medieval “weekday” that distinguished the days that one worked from the Lord’s Day, the profane “weekend” – which originally described the period when shops and businesses were closed – came to reflect a way of life organized around the active pursuit of leisure. p.21

~ Saturday (Lørdag)  only day of week in Scandinavian countries not named after deity; “a day for bathing”

Differences in posture, like differences in eating utensils (knife and fork, chopsticks or fingers, for example), divide the world as profoundly as political boundaries.  Regarding posture there are two camps: the sitters-up (the so-called western world) and the squatters (everyone else). p.78

If you have someone in your life interested in architecture, interior design, or just in a comfortable home, this would make a wonderful gift. 

More quotes from Home from previous blog entries: Interior Space and Privacy.