Grief and Laughter


 Tears are expected,
but sometimes laughter feels like the much more appropriate
— and the much more restorative, healing, even — response.
Laughter mixed with tears works, too.
And laughter takes the edge off those times
when tears are, in fact, unavoidable.
— MFS, personal blog

It occurred to me this morning that my thrifty sister would have heartily approved of the tax benefits related to the timing of her birth and death. We Harpers exult in saving money! Margo was born a few days before the end of the year, giving my folks a welcome tax exemption for that short week in 1948. She died at the beginning of January, giving her husband an exemption and joint filing for 2016. Way to win! Take that, IRS!! [Further, the airfare to travel back there was amazingly low. Who travels to Chicago in January?] Time sifts the pain and grief and gives us eyes to see the humor.

This may appear irreverent, but, my brother-in-law and I shared a good horsey laugh talking about it. I can hear Margo’s chuckle in my head and some pseudo-modest acknowledgment: Not bad for a bear with very little brain! [She had a brain tumor removed in 1980.]


6 thoughts on “Grief and Laughter

  1. Laughter,even in the midst of grief and sorrow,can be very healing, I think . It shows us that , yes, we will survive the loss . It also gives a much needed break at times from the sorrow,which can be hard and exhausting . Great post.~Prineville Sharon

  2. Yes, laughter through tears or tears through laughter….good for the soul I think.
    I have noticed that very often people die near their birthdays which is interesting.
    love and prayers, jep

    • I’ve always thought it was so fitting to die on your birthday. Full circle! Shakespeare did. And a dear woman, a surrogate mother, didn’t wake up on her 95th birthday.

      It’s always wonderful to hear from you, jep.

      • Thank you Carol! I have your blog set up to come to my email and am so thankful that I can comment when I feel like I have something to add. Full circle, to die on your birthday…I like that way of thinking. I discovered that there have been lots of famous folks that left us that way….Ingrid Bergman, Mike Douglas, Kamehameha V. (King of Hawaii), George Washington Carver, Betty Friedan, and the artist Raphael to name a few. And, I remember that a schoolmate of mine died on his birthday during the Vietnam War. We saw his name on the wall in Washington DC years ago and the volunteer told me he died on his birthday. Reminds me, this is not our forever home. love and prayers, jep

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