We honored our friend’s dad’s life today…and I took notes. I believe a memorial service can be one of the best seminars on living. It is satisfying to see the end product of a life well-lived: friends and family whose lives are forever changed by the love, faithfulness, care and kindness of an ordinary man.
Although I’ll pass on Bob’s favorite sandwich: peanut butter, lettuce, and mayonnaise.
During the eulogy, all fourteen great-grandchildren were named. You could see each one sit up straighter when named. Individual names are so much more personal and potent than a collective number.
I had shared with the family a nice touch from the last memorial service we attended in February, and they incorporated it into today’s service. The moderator asked groups of people to stand (and then sit). Grandchildren, great-grandchildren, in-laws, fellow church members; the greatest rising was in response to “if you have ever hunted or fished with Bob.”
A well-worn and scuffy truth was on display today: the highest way to love your children is to love your spouse. Eleven years ago, my husband and I wrote about Averil, Bob’s wife:
A Living Pencil 
“A clean grief.” So lovely. After my dad died I kept thinking we mourned with no regrets. Same thing but wordier? And less euphonic? You’ve shared some wonderful ways to honor a loved one at a service. Just wondering what you think of my little idea—that the communal meal after the service is the first drop in the healing bucket.
Oh, SO TRUE. Yes, a thousand times. And, Anita? I’ve never thought of it framed that way. Thank you!