“[yawn]…I wish [yawn] that I had [yawn] more stam [yawn] ina,” I murmured to my indefatigable husband.
“If you lost some weight, you would get your wish,” replied my straightforward spouse. “It’s just like the bushy tomatoes in the garden. If they don’t get pruned soon, they are going to produce a few small tomatoes. But if you cut back some of the extra shoots, you will be amazed at the fruit it bears.”
Wow.
What a perfect picture. That’s my man: clarity and truth-telling with kindness. It sounds so reasonable when he says it.
Reflecting over the weekend, I also realized that I got dehydrated and that contributed to my sense of weariness.
It’s back to the basics: pray, drink, move, give thanks, sleep. All to the glory of God.
A Living Pencil 
Then I probably shouldn’t talk about the glorious afternoon I shared w/ my daughter at the street faire in her town where we shared fried zucchini/mushrooms/cheese sticks w/ Ranch dressing; followed by a bbq beef sandwich; topped off with a funnel cake covered in bananas, whipped cream and chocolate sauce, right? Hmm, bearing fruit and losing weight? Not sure I agree….
Okay Carol, I sure hope he did say this with kindness. He sounds more like a very brave man to me. Most husbands wouldn’t dare go there without a quick movement response mechanism in place. It is so stinkin easy for men to loose? HMMMMM, sorry I don’t think I reacted well to this one honey. Sometimes we are tired because we work hard or because we are dehydrated. Glad you two are on such good ground to start with. This from a constant dieter, but who wants to be the one to make that call… thank you very much! blessings and hugs honey, m in sc
I admit to being surprised by your reactions. I guess there is a strong foundation of love and trust between Curt and I, and the truth (that I need to lose weight) is SO obvious, that I don’t find an ounce of offensiveness in his words. He has never made a belittling comment. I posted this, because I found it so encouraging! Overgrown plants still bear fruit, but they do better when pruned. I want to do better…And LimboLady, I don’t begrudge the feast you shared with your daughter. I’m sure it’s not something you indulge in daily…This makes me curious: those of you that struggle with weight and are married – do you talk about it with your husbands?
More thoughts – would you (anyone you, no one specific) be offended if a doctor said that you needed to lose weight? Do doctors say that anymore? (I always bring it up first, to let him or her know that I’m aware of the problem)
Yep! We sure do talk about it! I’ve not lost any weight over the last 4 years, but I’ve not gained anymore either. Which is frustrating to me, somewhat, but thankful that I’m not gaining. Ter is helpful. It’s like childbirth coaching kind of- at times irritating, but generally very helpful and needed; even in that it is easier for him than for me. :0) The doctor’s at St. Mary’s haven’t chided in anyway to lose weight, in fact their mind is set so much on GAINING weight, that when you ask them for help in dieting they have to take a second thought.
It’s just that those of us who are overweight know it all too well. We knowit’s unhealthy, we know we could do a lot more if we weighed less, we even know more than anyone else all the myriad ways there are to lose weight. And (speaking only for myself, now) we are aware that those who are able to lose weight easily think we are just undisciplined and lazy. That is just not true! Being an overeater is a lot more complex than most people realize. Having said that, I am NOT AT ALL criticizing Curt. I know how he loves you, and that what he said was said in love. I, on the other hand, was married to a man who would constantly criticize my weight one day, and buy me a 1-lb. box of chocolates the next. There is a huge difference in the way things are said to each other that makes the difference. And truthfully, having to fight the weight problem my whole life has gotten tiring….making it a priority over all the other important parts of life takes a lot of energy!And re: the doctors, yes, I have had a kind, caring doctor who’s told me I needed to lose weight, but he did, too, so he was very gentle about it. That made the difference. AND you know my sister lost 100 lbs. in the past 3 yrs., so that’s always in the back of my mind, as well. Hope this didn’t sound too overbearing. I didn’t mean it to be.
Couple of thoughts–i’ve struggled with my weight since i was a child, so it’s definitely old news to me that i’m overweight! And i’ve had my share of doctors/nurses tell me i should lose. And yep, i should. But most people aren’t going to easily understand about a spouse you trust so totally it’s okay for him to say what he did. i mean, the world does not currently support that scenario! But a man who has never said a belittling thing in your history? Outstanding and impressive!And i need to go prune my tomatoes–i did not know i should do that.
hmmm…my husband’s response to any “doesn’t this make me look fat(ter)? do you think i look okay? do you think i should loose a couple of kilo’s? type of questions (i can give many more) is always the same: just eat a little bit less & exercise more… last week our family joined the local gym; i weighed myself for the first time in 10 years (yes, you can read weight issues …)… getting on the scale was in itself a conquest! Alas, now i know (for a fact)what the machine told me: % bodyfat very poor! My son however, kept me humble: mom, you didn’t need the machine, i could’ve told you that